Now this is the Law of the Jungle — as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back —
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

– Rudyard Kipling

We hear much these days about “toxic masculinity” (though in common parlance it is often used to describe any male behavior of which certain females disapprove) yet much of society’s woes could be mitigated if men learned to “wolf-up.” No, not in the sense of the centuries-old myths and misunderstanding of wolves, but in what we have recently learned about the complexity of their relationships and their character.

In the introduction to his book The Reign of Wolf 21, author Rick McIntyre explained to a colleague his theory as to why Wolf 21 chose a particular spot overlooking his valley to draw his last breath. “When I finished,” he wrote, “she began to sob. I asked what was wrong and after taking a few moments to compose herself, she said, ‘Why can’t I find a man like 21?’”

Along with his beloved mate Wolf 42, with whom he shared authority, Wolf 21 presided over the halcyon days of the monitored Yellowstone wolf pack known as the Druids. At its zenith it was the largest pack even known – at 38 members. He died peacefully under a tree of his own choosing; undefeated in battle yet never having killed another wolf.

Many are the stories told of him. He would entertain himself for hours wrestling with pups, even ones he did not sire, and pretending to lose. “Oh, you got me now, boys… You got me now!” Why? To pass along to the next generation his fighting, hunting and leadership skills. Wolf 21 was once observed breaking up a bunch of young wolves harassing a buffalo calf under the protection of its mother, as if to say; “Yo, knuckleheads!… You’re more likely to get your guts gored or get your brains kicked in than you are to get that calf.” He then led them off to find easier prey.

A rival pack of half a dozen wolves once attacked the Druids when they were scattered and unprepared, seriously wounding Wolf 42. She cried out for her mate, who was a quarter mile away with some companions. He CHARGED, hitting a group of them like a pool cue ball on break, tearing at them left and right. By the time his companions caught up to him, all that was left to do was chase off the remnants. Wolf 21 then tended to his beloved, licking her wounds.

Then there was the grizzly bear who tried to move in on a fresh kill Wolf 21 had provided for his family. He bit the bear in the ass to make it turn and chase him. When they had gone far enough, he turned on the bear to hold him off so his family could eat. Lest the reader think this is legend or embellishment, here is a picture of him doing so:

Did Wolf 21 demonstrate not merely affection and protection for his beloved, but respect? You bet–he had to. She was no wallflower and ran the day-to-day operation of the pack. One morning Wolf 21 got up early, deciding that the hunt would be to the west that day. He trotted off, expecting the pack to arise and follow. No, Wolf 42 decided, the hunt would be to the east that day, and the pack arose and followed her. Wolf 21 had to sheepishly skedaddle to get out in front of the parade.

Here are five rules that can be derived from Wolf 21’s leadership:

1. Always put the welfare of your pack first. They in turn will see to yours, and your backside will always be covered.
2. Do not overreact. It can make a situation much worse.
3. When possible, condemn the bad behavior but not the wolf. Allow room for redemption.
4. Be mindful of results and adjust tactics and strategy accordingly. Take a hard look at what you want and why.  Never be too proud or too sensitive to learn from the mistakes you will make.
5. Be assertive, but calm. Exhibit self-control.  No wolf wants to be led by, or mate with, an unbalanced, self-centered jackass who never grew up, and there is one of those within every wolf.  He must be subdued.  Vincit qui se vincit–He conquers who conquers himself. Even if we did just this, gentlemen, the world would be far better off for it.

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